Torts...short for torture?

Who would think Torts could be so scary?

There is this class called Torts. It is a required class and it involves more case briefings than most. And I have what I have heard rumored to be the meanest torts teacher around. She is tough, strict and demanding. Whatever you do, I’ve been warned, don’t piss her off.

We had 15 pages to read for the first day. (That may not sound like a lot to a non-law student, but it consisted of 5 cases. There was no filler just 15 pages of judicial wonderment to read) I read and re-read them diligently. I wish I could have said the same for all of my colleagues.

There was a girl, who we will call “Elle”. She was called on and didn’t know a very simple question, she asked the professor to repeat the question. The professor refused and asked her another, somewhat easy question to which “Elle” was completely wrong.

So the next question comes, “Elle, did you even read this?”



“Well, I thought that since this was the first day of class you weren’t really going to call on anyone.”



Everyone in the class collectively held their breath waiting for the fury of the Professor to come down.

And then the professor went off:

“The assignment was out there, did you think it was a fake assignment? No, well I’m reminded of this movie… where there is a letter written saying ‘what are you, stupid?’. We’ll are you stupid. Yes, you are. STUPID STUPID STUPID!”

Now the professor grabs a hat that she had behind the podium and walks towards.



“Elle this might help you. It’s a thinking cap, why don’t you put it on so that you at least have some semblance of a brain. And while I’m at it, here’s a quarter go call your mother and tell her that law school isn’t for you”.

Everyone in the class starts slouching down in their chairs, trying desperately not to draw the wrath of the professor. All except for the girl sitting behind me. Her hand shot up.

The professor glares my way and asks why her hand is up. She replies “Well, I want to help Elle out”.



“Butt out and mind your own business”.



“Well, I think you’re being unreasonably rude and bitchy.” We were all kind of thinking the same thing, but no one wanted to be on the receiving end of this.

Then the professor returns to the podium and tells the class “I would like to introduce my two teaching assistants”.


That’s right the whole thing was a set up. The two “students” were actually her T.As. The woman knows she’s feared and she loves it. She just wanted to mess with us. On the one hand I find this hilarious; on the other hand, I think she may just be a bit sadistic. Regardless I will definitely do my reading for this class.